Do You Have Wedding Invitation Etiquette Mastered? Here’s EVERYTHING You Need to Know
Your significant other finally popped the question, and you’re ready to start planning your wedding. While it’s easy to get caught up in trying to find the perfect dress, deciding between a local or destination wedding, and figuring out which bakeries you’ll visit for cake-tasting, there’s a major issue you need to tackle before the “fun” stuff.
What is it? The invitations.
Your invitations are going to set the tone not just for the main event and your guests, but for your vibe as you plan arguably the most important day of your life.
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Wedding Invitation Etiquette
These little pieces of cardstock tell your guests what to wear, where to go, and what to expect when they get there–not to mention what to bring. Every choice you make, from the stock to the font to the color story, will help send the message you want to convey to your guests.
Give them enough time: A crucial part of invitation etiquette is sending them with enough time for your guests to respond. There’s nothing more gauche than sending wedding invites and leaving your loved ones with too little time to check their schedules, arrange their lives, and RSVP.
Include an RSV card: Speaking of RSVPs – make sure you send your wedding invitations with an RSVP card to return to you.
The 4 W’s (and the dress code): Your invite should always include, at the very minimum, the following – Who, What, Where & When. And don’t leave them in the dark when it comes to dress code.
A separate card for destination weddings: Another separate card that should be included? If extensive travel is required for certain guests (or all with a destination wedding), that should not be on the invitation but on a separate card as well.
Don’t list your registry on the invitation: One final word of etiquette for your invitations: Never, EVER, include your registry on your wedding invitations. This will happen either through word of mouth or on a separate wedding website—more on those later.
Where to Buy Wedding Invitations
Just like anything else in life these days, there are countless ways to find exactly what you’re looking for when it comes to the perfect wedding invitations. While the world’s your oyster, there are certain things you must take into consideration when shopping for the perfect invitation. Do you want to go with a local printer or shop online?
While going with a local print service is a great way to support your local economy, take into consideration the brunt of your design work will fall on you or a third party hire. This not only costs time, it costs extra money.
It’s here where online services enter the chat and basically slay competition. With free wedding websites, you can design your dream wedding invitation with the help of design templates, matching envelopes and even bundling in things like save the dates (another wedding etiquette must).
There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to shop for and buy wedding invitations, but in today’s world, going online is becoming the norm for modern couples because of the ease of use of these sites and how streamlined everything is – and who doesn’t want less stress when wedding planning?
E-vite or E-Don’t?
Wedding invitations are an instance where you should never send the invitation digitally. This is one of the most important days of your life; don’t you want the physical keepsake of your invitation? Secondly, even guests are asked a lot when attending a wedding, from travel to the wedding venue to gifts, to a new dress or suit to wear –honor them with a beautiful wedding invitation mailed personally from you to them.
If you and your partner are die-hard minimalists or are looking to keep your eco-friendly wedding as sustainable as possible and have been thinking about sending digital invitations to your wedding, this is one area where wedding etiquette demands – use the postal service.
Who Makes the Cut?
Planning who to send the invitations to is another big aspect of wedding etiquette and deciding who you’re going to invite and sometimes more importantly who you’re not going to invite is difficult for couples. Before we dig in, remember, there are exceptions to every rule but for the most part, here’s the gist.
Who to prioritize: Ultimately, what it comes down to is this – when deciding who to invite to your wedding, focus on people who truly matter in your life—those you love, who support your relationship, and who will genuinely celebrate your happiness. Prioritize close family, lifelong friends, and key connections over obligatory invites. It’s your day—create a guest list that feels intimate and meaningful.
What about cousins? The general rule is if you invite one cousin, you need to invite them all. So, if you have fifty cousins, maybe skip the cousins. It all depends on your family’s culture, but it’s a great rule of thumb.
What about kids? The second rule is about kids. Many couples choose to have child-free weddings these days; it’s a major wedding trend. But even if you’re inviting children, no one under twelve, especially infants and toddlers. Don’t let guilt cause hiccups or interruptions in your wedding. This doesn’t mean you don’t love children, but it’s okay not to love the idea of them at your wedding. Your wedding invitation can phrase this in a classy way, a witty way, or whatever your style is. An obvious exception to this rule is any children in your wedding (flower girls, ring bearers, etc).
What about feeling obligated to invite people who invited you to their wedding (but you really don’t want them at yours)? Hard “no” here – for several reasons. One, they may have had a bigger wedding than you. Two, they may consider you closer than you consider them. Honestly, there can be several reasons. At the end of the day, it’s YOUR day, so just because they invited you doesn’t mean you have to invite them.
To Register Or Not to Register?
It is true that these days, cash is king, and many couples prefer cash gifts at their wedding. Believe it or not, for a long time, that was the norm, but it faded into a mess of crystal glasses and china sets doomed to collect dust.
However, when it comes to wedding etiquette, you still definitely want to register.
Not only is a wedding registry practical because you can receive items you and your partner actually want, it’s also considerate to your guests. Not everyone is an excellent gift-giver, and let’s face it: not everyone has time to shop around for a gift you may not even love. So when it comes to manners, a registry is a must.
As mentioned above, never, EVER include your registry on your wedding invitations. Do include it on your wedding website, or politely tell guests where you’ve registered when they ask you (that’s the aforementioned word of mouth).
Ending on an Elegant Note
Your wedding is one of the main events of your life, so make sure you consider all the appropriate etiquette when it comes to your invitations. While they may just be a piece of (hopefully thick stock) paper, they are beautiful keepsakes for you and your guests and a preamble to the rest of your lives. Take time when it comes to the details, and keep these tips in mind to nail your invites the first time. Congratulations and cheers to your new chapter!
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